I think I’ve heard Dashboard Confessional’s “Stolen” a million times lately. It seems like that song is in every movie I’ve seen over the past couple of weeks.
“We watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend
Of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced
Another sun soaked season fades away”
This song makes me feel pretty sad since summer is almost up. Sure this will be my senior year; supposedly “the most fun year of school”; but I’m just not sure how to feel about this landmark in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super stoked about being a senior and being done with high school, but it’s finally starting to hit me that this is it; my last chance to be a kid and not care about anything. Then we all have to go to our ends of the Earth and start paying bills and give a crap. I like to think of myself as a mature individual, but I’m not convinced I’m ready for the world. Now that I think about it, I have a super easy life. I don’t even have a job right now haha. I’m having way too much fun right here in my little fantasy world. I’ve always been the kid that was so ready to grow up and get out of Forney, Tx. I still am to an extent, but I find myself realizing I have so little time left to enjoy this moment; this slice of heaven called high school. I guess this is what everybody is talking about when they say “Enjoy it while it lasts”. A few months ago I would have laughed had someone said that and then gone on living my little dream. Every time I think about this summer ending, it kills me. I’ve done so little these past 2 months. I thought this was going to be the summer where I made something happen, where I made memories and had the time of my life. So far, it has been a blur, and I’m the only one to blame. I’m just caught on the fence of wanting to grow up and wanting to stay a kid. Sure growing up has it’s benefits- I can get tattoos, smoke cigars, drink alcoholic beverages, tour, get married, have lots of kids, buy a house, become a youth pastor (my dream job). Somehow that stuff seems pretty weak right now. I guess I can just have hope that this stuff will be amazing when the opportunity arrives. For now, I want this year to be crazy awesome, the last glimpse of childhood that I’ll get. This is it.
