First of all, I’m not sure if I already know you, or if I have yet to meet you. Either way, you are/will be the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. You are an incredible person- kind, considerate, selfless, humble, and joyful. You love Jesus and want to be just like Him. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. For some reason I think about you a lot. I’m crazy about you. Most nights I wish I was with you already. I’ll just lay in my bed for hours and wonder what you’re like- what bands you’re into, what movies you love, what your favorite place to run away to is, and what your family and friends are like… I wonder what we’ll do together, where we will go, what we will see. I wonder what our wedding and our first house will be like. I wonder if you’re out there, laying in your bed and thinking of me. I can’t wait to kiss you for the first time. I can’t wait to hug you and tell you everything is going to be alright after you had a rough day. I can’t wait to stay up all night with you while we listen to records and talk about God. I can’t wait to have a family with you, and raise a couple of beautiful children. I can’t wait to take you to my grandfather’s house at Christmas to meet the whole family. I can’t wait to spend an entire day being lazy with you. I can’t wait to take you by the hand, pull you into the pouring rain, and kiss you, because you like that sort of thing. I can’t wait to place my jacket on your shoulders when you get cold. I can’t wait to show you the songs that always make me think of you. I can’t wait to take you and our children camping or to the zoo. I can’t wait to hold your hand during a good movie. I can’t wait to jump in the car with you and drive around and talk, just for the heck of it. I can’t wait to watch a sunset with you, and talk about how perfect we are for each other. I can’t wait to pray with you and our kids every night. I can’t wait to cook you dinner (I’ll go ahead and apologize in advance for how terrible it will be). I can’t wait to cheer you up when you’re sad. I can’t wait to propose to you and call you my fiancee. I can’t wait to be by your side as we bring our first child into this world. I can’t wait to grow old and grumpy with you and play dominoes or whatever else old people do. I can’t wait to take you on our first date and learn every single thing about you. I can’t wait to watch you walk down the isle, place a ring on your finger, and hear you say “I do”. I can’t wait to come home to you after a long day and give you the biggest hug and kiss possible. I can’t wait to call you mine, and have you complete my life. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms and try to explain to you how much I love you. I can’t wait to make it up to you after I’m dumb enough to make you mad. I can’t wait to be part of your life. The scariest thought that has ever crossed my mind is that I’ll never find you, that I’ll just search and search but my my bride will never appear. But I know better- you are out there somewhere, longing for me just as I am longing for you. You may even be writing me a letter, which would be freaking awesome. Anyways, I am incredibly anxious to be your husband, the waiting is killing me. And I’ll be the happiest man on the face of this planet when I find out who you are. And one day I’ll show you this letter, and you’ll tell me you love me. I pray every day that when I realize who you are, I will be able to make you the happiest girl in the world. I pray that I’ll be able to love you like our God loves the both of us- unconditionally. If only you knew how excited I am to call you my bride. I love you, my beautiful girl. Hopefully I’ll see you soon.

Love,

Your future husband

I just thought I’d let you guys know why I have the mindset that I do.

Number 1. I don’t hate the church. I have been to several great churches that are run the way churches are supposed to be run, and I love seeing that. I will always support biblically operated churches. However, the majority of churches I have been to aren’t operated the way God explains in his word, and because of this, way too many people around me are being hurt and misguided. I know way too many people who hate God and don’t want anything to do with Him because of these churches. Obviously something is wrong here. Too many people walk into these churches and feel totally left out, they feel isolated and judged simply because they look a certain way or they hang out with so-and-so or they used to be into this or that. Since when are followers of Christ supposed to pick and choose who can be in the congregation? Are the normal church-goers supposed to be more welcome than the new faces? Why does Mr. Smith shake a thousand hands on a Sunday morning while the poor pregnant teenage girl gets blank stares? I’ve seen it a thousand times. We all have I’m sure. And this problem isn’t isolated to a single church or ministry. We need to take action and make our churches the refuges they’re supposed to be. We all need to go out of our way in every opportunity to make people feel loved. Until we do, our churches will continue to do harm without even knowing it. Until then, we will breed a generation of people who are stagnate or cold to anything with the name “Christ” attached to it. We also need to stop letting the leaders pour our tithes into buildings. Around 85% of all tithes go right back into the infrastructure. I have no problem with expanding your church to fit capacity, and buying things that the congregation truly needs, but I am not okay with churches that look like they were just featured in Dwell Magazine. My God has little use for beautiful temples. He does, however have many uses for a body of people that gives and gives and gives, and gives some more until it hurts. He does have a use for a body of people that is on a never-ending mission trip, a body of people that does SOMETHING for the non-congregation around them. Sure, God can use anything for His glory, but think of it like this- if you had a choice between constructing a new beautiful temple or sending 20 missionary teams out to do the Lord’s work, which do you think He would want you to choose? We shouldn’t pour all of our money and efforts into those who already know God, we should pour all of our money and efforts into those who DON’T know Him. Simple as that. BUT, in the end, none of this really matters, sure these things make me really sad to see, but if people are getting saved, and being shown how to grow closer to God and sustain that relationship, pushing it’s members to live as Jesus did, and speaking TRUTH, then the church is doing it’s job, and that church is blessed. I simply say these things to urge you to find a church that harbors your spiritual growth, gets you involved, and solely exists to share Christ’s love, believe me, such a church exists.

Number 2. I’m not against having nice or new, reliable things. But, I will not ever be okay with blowing $50,000 on a freaking automobile. Or, for that matter, living in a $500,000 home. I could never justify buying either of those things when there are people out there who don’t even have clean water or a pair of shoes. If you don’t claim to follow Christ then by all means, buy that Porsche and that sick house. But if you claim you are a Christian you must realize you are claiming to be like Christ, that’s what “Christian” means for crying out loud. You are taking on the role of a sacrificial, selfless, humble, and loving human being. Now, excuse me if I’m wrong but dropping that much money on a car or a house when people are out there dying of starvation doesn’t seem very sacrificial or humble or selfless or loving to me. But, that is just my opinion. I don’t hate you if you have nice things. You can, of course, still love God and spend your every dime on stuff. My view of the Great Commission is just a bit more radical than most… I think we all need to step back and look at our lives. What are we sacrificing? What are we doing for God on a daily basis? I know I don’t sacrifice or do enough for Him.

I’m out.

Thank you for healing me when I let the world harm me

Thank you for speaking to me when I need your words the most

Thank you for saving me from a life of sin

Thank you for lifting me up in my darkest hour

Thank you for hearing my praises, even though they’ll never be good enough

Thank you for showing me what to do when I have no idea

Thank you for blessing me even when I turn my back on you

Thank you for holding me when everybody else turns me away

Thank you for calming me when I get worked up

Thank you for giving me my daily bread when I think I don’t need it

Thank you for convicting me when I think I have everything right

Thank you for the breath in my lungs

Thank you for the music I’m listening to

Thank you for the roof over my head

Thank you for the food I’ll eat today

Thank you for a healthy body I so often destroy

Thank you for amazing parents, and that they love you as they love me

Thank you for my sisters and brother-in-laws that I’ve learned so much from

Thank you for my nieces and nephews, let there be an anointing on their precious lives

Thank you for my best friends, may they seek you and find you

Thank you for Sound the Ruin, may we lead this generation to you

Thank you for happiness, which you alone can give

Thank you for worship, which is a privilege

Thank you for hope, that we have in you alone

Thank you for the joy you give to us when we live for you

Thank you for the stars, my God they are beautiful

Thank you for sunsets, my God they are glorious

Thank you for the moon, my God it is gorgeous

Thank you for the mountains, they tell of your power

Thank you for the oceans, they speak of your wonder

Thank you for your children, may I love them as you do

Thank you for your sacrifice, without it I am worthless

Thank you for mercy, without it I am disgusting

Thank you for your spirit, it is ever-powerful

Thank you for your will, may I be completely submerged in it

Thank you for your majesty, you are an artist Father

Thank you for my future wife, may I love my bride as you love me

Thank you for my future kids, may I show them how to live for you

Thank you for your plans, may I follow them without fail

Thank you for communion, bless our gatherings

Thank you for your birth, you were king even as a child

Thank you for your life, you showed us how to live

Thank you for your death, I was bought with blood

Thank your for your resurrection, you are the risen king

Thank you for your throne, may I worship you for all of eternity

Thank you for your commission, may I live to fulfill it

Thank you for your love, for it is unconditional

Thank you for being you

“We watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend
Of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced
Another sun soaked season fades away”

This song makes me feel pretty sad since summer is almost up. Sure this will be my senior year; supposedly “the most fun year of school”; but I’m just not sure how to feel about this landmark in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super stoked about being a senior and being done with high school, but it’s finally starting to hit me that this is it; my last chance to be a kid and not care about anything. Then we all have to go to our ends of the Earth and start paying bills and give a crap. I like to think of myself as a mature individual, but I’m not convinced I’m ready for the world. Now that I think about it, I have a super easy life. I don’t even have a job right now haha. I’m having way too much fun right here in my little fantasy world. I’ve always been the kid that was so ready to grow up and get out of Forney, Tx. I still am to an extent, but I find myself realizing I have so little time left to enjoy this moment; this slice of heaven called high school. I guess this is what everybody is talking about when they say “Enjoy it while it lasts”. A few months ago I would have laughed had someone said that and then gone on living my little dream. Every time I think about this summer ending, it kills me. I’ve done so little these past 2 months. I thought this was going to be the summer where I made something happen, where I made memories and had the time of my life. So far, it has been a blur, and I’m the only one to blame. I’m  just caught on the fence of wanting to grow up and wanting to stay a kid. Sure growing up has it’s benefits- I can get tattoos, smoke cigars, drink alcoholic beverages, tour, get married, have lots of kids, buy a house, become a youth pastor (my dream job). Somehow that stuff seems pretty weak right now. I guess I can just have hope that this stuff will be amazing when the opportunity arrives. For now, I want this year to be crazy awesome, the last glimpse of childhood that I’ll get. This is it.

My mom, sister, Grant, and I went to this weekly event called the River Market in Little Rock. It was a lot of fun since there were a lot of cool little street vendors. Grant and I even got some little bird flutes from a free trade store haha. I also got some small stuffed thing that Brian described as a “cat toy”. We stopped in at a local art gallery which was nice. Here are some photos I took-

All in all it was a pretty fun day

“I guarantee you that one vampire is that other vampires sister, you know it?”

“Man, that’s a nice field of corn.”

“Maybe some popcorn for breakfast.”

“I don’t eat Japanese raw fish, Hunter.”

Oh Scott, what would we do without you?

Anyways, I’m about to go to bed, since it is almost 3 am. Goodnight.